Sunday, January 27, 2013


So it has been a while since I have blogged my mind. I am at a point where I need to vent. I am thankful for the computer as I can actually type faster then I can write and my head does not get to much faster then my brain. But man talk about changes since my last post. It has been a whirlwind and I hoped and prayed it would slow but it ain't gonna til the fat lady sings! And since we all know I am "fluffy" and can not sing help us all.

So in case you are curious, here is about when it started. Back in September/October Bill finally heard from GE. Now keep in mind he applied (ok so he was working at Salem and I called him on the phone and we did his application on the phone) in May. I remember the day well as it was pouring down rain and I had decided to not try and drive to Wesleyan with all the water standing. I helped him took us almost 2 hours but he was headed to San Antonio so we had time. Anywhoot, he got an email from them and responded. Then it was like a whirlwind of hurry up and do this that and the other. The original plan was to stay in Mineral Wells until the end of the school year but a 70 something mile drive one way prompted a near midnight move two weeks before Christmas. Now I am seeing a pattern here with us and Christmas. I mean in 2011 we moved two weeks before Christmas to Mineral Wells and here we go again. Finding a house in the area of Saginaw/Haslet/Justin was no easy feat. We took what was available and semi affordable. Its not the best place but hey it helped relieve some stress. Change numbero uno!
The second change is that Gus turned 20 and graduated from Fire Academy. No small feat for him but he did it with pride and dignity. He got up everyday no matter what (even when Gus became one with the bus) and went. Yes there were days he worried about running out of gas but he never once faltered and he finished with pride. I am proud of him. Finding a job has not been an easy task for him and he has tried. The thing is most of the fire academy's around here (with the exception of Ft. Worth and Arlington) have dis-combined their emt/paramedic program from their fire program. And therefore that part of what he needs has become a part time program and he does not get any financial assistance. Now the crappy part is that we can not afford for him to go. He has explored options and has decided to join the Navy. He will not really be losing his "fire stuff" but this will help him in more ways then one. I am proud of him and held him up when he felt like falling and failing just as he has done me many times. Thing that I will miss the most when he is "gone" is his quirky little sayings and jokes like this one "if this Navy thing does not work I am going to go be a rodeo clown." Yes Gus you can do that to just be the best one you can be. So I am thinking at least I will have a place or places to go visit for vacation.... CHANGE NUMBER 2!

With the moving of schools, Javier has found his place. He has found a school Ponder High School where they take him for what he is BIG and funny. Holy cow wait for it............. a little drum roll........ HE EVEN MADE FRIENDS THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL AND HAS BEEN GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DOING STUFF.... like joining the ( no laughter please even though I know you are ) Bowling team. Wait did the words HE JOINED THE BOWLING TEAM AND GET OUT OF THE HOUSE just roll off my lips? Yes they did. He seems content here and well happy. He even told them day one "yes I will play football for you." ( yes he made several coaches very happy with that) And in less then a month, he will turn 17 and well as soon as I can he will be legally allowed to drive by himself.  His plan is to do his early enlist this summer and then poof his senior year be gone like a freight train. OK but I will miss you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????? see change number 3..

And my sweet Pablo. Oh he has blended right in at Ponder. He like Javi is loving it. I mean who would not as they made the total high school attendance 349? Academically his is looking at trying to graduate early but that task may be easier said then done. Oh he can do it but will he?????? Yes this is Pablo we are talking about you know "mini me?" NO COMMENT NEEDED FROM ANYONE OK!?! And he has decided to stick with soccer and although they do not have it a the school, we got a recommendation of where to go in Denton for him. And according to the school counselor, they have a couple of kids on that team who have scholarships so welcome change number 4. And yes he begins the process of driving this summer.

But for me turning 40 (yes husband I said it) has been well I have no words really.  I am less tolerant of stupid stuff then in the past and the phrase "it is what it is" seems to be becoming my daily mantra. I know that I have been having to wear my contacts/glasses like I was supposed to and have noticed gray hairs springing up- I am certain that my husband playing real life "angry birds" with my gray hairs is not helping but hey they make hair color right? Maybe I will go blonde or Lucy red or Elvira black? There are so many choices. And yes I "went home" to Wesleyan. As a favorite professor of mine mentioned "you had your fun at THAT University so now it is time to come home and roost." Well honestly I missed it. I know I know none of you need to say a word, I get it ok now just back away slowly. If I make it through this semester ( isn't there a song called If we make it through December?) I will have accomplished a grave amount. Oh there has already (unknown to husband, kids and you) a massive amount of tears and fears and I can't do this what the hell was I on crack ( thanks guys for letting me bawl and scream you know who you are and listening to my self doubt and negativity) words but in the end it will teach me something. That something I have yet to decipher. And I have been a "less then pleasant grouch" lately. I am blaming hormones, but who knows maybe I am turning into a grumpy old lady....

So with all these changes, I have decided to live on xanax and vodka and coffee..(that should be great for my kidneys and baldder huh?) HAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAA  NOT! but I am thinking it might help.......... So if you see me in the next couple of weeks, or call me, understand that if I look at you like you are an alien, up from one of the 18 million chapters from 56 trillion books I have to read  or I do not recognize your voice, it is not you and you have done nothing wrong i will just be in the midst of trying to decipher you from the reading and writing and project making....... Oh and trust me I have searched high and low for books on tape to assist me but there are none I even googled cliff notes for them and nope not getting any help there! ( Did I just admit that out loud?)

So for the curious here is the schedule:
American Government and Texas Government (not too bad just from inception of Constitution to current)

History of Texas (note from prehistoric dinosaur to current just to give you an idea)

Religion of Old Testament ( yep ALL the book in the old testament hey at least I can complete assignments here early)

Criminology (hmmm well it will be fun and interesting)

With all these changes, I am off to read now...... Hope you understand.... Oh and well see I forgot......