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Thursday, March 17, 2011

There is a big hole in here......

There is a big hole in my world. It is small on the scale of things but still it is a void that will not be erased or filled. Oh I have tried not to think about it but I find myself thinking about it a lot.. As time has gone on, this hole has been lessened but none the less it will always be there.

This hole caved as easily as it came into my life. I was not expecting it to happen but it did... See this hole brought me comfort, and love and silly looks. It brought me frustration and giggles and love like no other... This hole was there when no one else was and if it could talk oh man the things it could say and tell... Now to stop the cryptic messaging, and get on with it..

My Figaro. He came into my world at the worst possible time. And here is how it all happened... Yes one night it happened....

I had a calico who had to be put to sleep as she had Feline Aids. It was better. And after her I resisted any temptation to get another cat immediately. It had been only a few days at the most since I had her put to sleep. Oh I would come to moms and get my cat fix on, or my friends with cats but no was not having one ever again.. ( Ok so never say never I know) Well little monkey was about a year old when the Big Fig happened into our lives. And man did it change things post haste.

The kids father had been out at the junk yard getting a windshield for a car when he heard a strange noise. Upon looking further he found him. All 1/4 pound of him in the car curled next to his deceased siblings and mom. He took this frail critter and wrapped him in his shirt and brought him home. He came in the door and said honey I have a prize for you... ( the kids dad's english is well funny) I told him I was cooking and in he comes with his hoodie wrapped around his arm. My immediate reaction was "What did you do?" He said nothing but take this.. I knew he had mentioned a dog and I told him I would well deck him if it were a dog... Grabbing his hoodie from him, I unwrapped this tiny tiny bundle of black and white fur with no teeth and one eye open. The monkeys by this point were bouncing like jack russell terriers to see. I look at him and said well this is funny but you have to take it back now... He looked at me and said I no can take it back. I said but if you don't take it back things could happen.. He said there is no taking it back and made a slicing movement at his throat. I looked down at this tiny limp ball of fur and thought what am I gonna do??? I sent him and the monkeys to the store for powered milk.. I was a human mom for crying out loud not a cat mom. I had no clue what to do with this thing... I got an eye dropper and fed him. I held him and let the boys touch him but that was about it. I found a small box and re wrapped him in the hoodie.. ( I found out that the kids dad still owns the hoodie) I put the box and its contents in the bathroom under the heat lamp. I hoped for the best but expected the worst.  I knew when we went to bed that night that this poor thing would not be with us the next morning. I just knew it. I purposely set the alarm to get up at the crack of dawn just to make sure the kids did not find him and become traumatized for life.

So here I go half asleep stumbling into the bathroom only to my surprise I heard a tiny faint meow... It was crackled and you could hardly hear it. I opened the door slowly and to my shock and amazement, he was alive and well.  Hungry but holding his own. Holy Cow what am I gonna do now.  So I fixed so warm powered milk and got the eye dropper out and fed this little thing. My heart was melting. ( yes there is a heart there). The kids came running and jumped almost on top of me and him. Even Daisy Lu ( the oldest boston) was full of excitement. She herself had not a clue what to do either. So at the decent hour of 8, I called mom and granny. They both said as far as they knew it was much like raising a baby only you don't change a diaper you have to wipe them. ( Ok so that was the only part of cat rearing 101 I was not expecting. ) And of course it was Sunday so no vet to call to ask questions to.... SO here we go off to raising a small kitten... The boys named him Figaro off of Pinocchio the only difference was fig was a girl and ours was a boy. The played with him wrapped him in blankets, slept with him and I well fed and you know used a warm cotton ball on his behind.... I still was not sure he was gonna live but within 24 hours he was living well and letting me know when he was hungry... 

Fig as a young kitten went everywhere we went. To school, to granny's, to the store, even made a trip to the doctor. It was not out of fear for him but he ate every two hours. It was madness.. Granny even fed and rocked him more times then I can count... Fig began to grow at an alarming rate of speed.....He soon graduated from the tiny box to the bed. His favorite place was curled around my head. And yes it is true that unless they have their mom who is a cat they never really learn to purr.. I sort of taught Fig that but well his purrer was a little off. He loved to ride in the car. Arby's was his favorite place to go. He ate popcorn, gold fish, pizza, spaghetti, chicken and any kind of seafood out there. He even ate jello... He learned I am not sure how, but he learned to drink from a straw. He ate cat food but he was not a normal cat. I caught him one afternoon, staring down a mouse. That mouse knew he was the enemy but Fig had not a clue what to do with it.. He just stared at it and looked at me like what is that thing doing. He played fetch and retrieve.  He even would get tired of the dog and sit on her. He was a cat who did not know he was a cat. The kids would even bathe him and he never fought back. He could and would fight any cat that came in his yard. That I will give you he was a fighter when he had to but most times he would simply look at the opposing side as if to say he let us just be friends. He would literally ride in the car with or with out seat belt and not make a move to get out.

So this past November, my baby, my Big Fig disappeared. He was here and went out to play and just never came home. It is almost as if one of my birth children has left me. Maybe Fig went off to college or moved in with his friend girl. I am not sure. Thinking that crazy thing helps me not be sad. All I know is I miss him and I want him home. He left no note, no phone call nothing. Just poof gone just like he came into my life. The kids and the gma even miss him. In some ways daisy lu does to.

So that is how the hole came to be. It is as black as the Big Fig. I still find myself looking, and hoping that he will come home, but after this long I know he is gone. It is gonna be ok. Just do not ask me to take another cat. This has left a hole that nothing will fill...... Not even time........



Night............

2 comments:

  1. I know what you mean ... I also have a big hole in there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh hun I know he ment the world to you guys but I never knew how much. I gotta go find the kleenex

    ReplyDelete