So let me set this up for ya.....
It was hot, Honeyboo was vacationing courtesy of Baylor All Saints and a blood clot in his leg, when out of my partial paralysis and coma, I was awakened. I had not slept well. Tuesday, I took the Big Eskimo to yet one of many more follow up appointments with THE BOTH..... All was well and he told him to keep on working and by the way it may help seriously if you play a little football this fall..... The Eskimo said REALLY??? Yes from the Both..... ( note Both is short for bothwell...) So we get in the car and I am this and thating to the Eskimo and he gets well I called in reinforcements for help.... I am not certain what changed in a mere 48 hours but something snapped....
So back to my coma like state and my awakening.... I hear the door open and I am thinking it is a 4 legged critters coming to bite at me to go outside. I am rooting around when I hear "MOMMA, you need to make me an appointment for my physical I am gonna do it." HUH??? EXCUSE ME????? I sat straight up with medusa hair and half swollen eyes... Wait child come back here are you sleep walking as you have been known to do and now speaking in your sleep??? Am I having a sleep deprivation nightmare again???? I asked him WHAT???? He replied his response "make me an appointment for my physical today." Ok but please can I have coffee first??? Ok.. Off he goes into the wild blue or as in his case green yonder... Nervously I stare from my phone to the door as if one of the two objects would speak to me and tell my what just happened... Nothing.... So I get up brush my wig and straighten it and walk zombie like to make coffee.. As the coffee was coming, I walked to the end of the house to see if what just happened happened????? I knocked and the eskimo answered...
He said he was gonna do it but well as with the NFL there needed to be uh oh whats the word negotiations perhaps????? Ok so terms then.. Yes that is a nice word... I was still in utter disbelief. I was certain at this point the Blondie or Curly needed to call the men or women with white coats and "happy cookies" to come get me. Either that or hell had frozen over and that could explain the heat here. NO not that lucky. Oh I heard him the third and fifteenth times. Shock I tell you and that is saying it nicely. So I got dressed for work cause some of us have to do that and went. I called the uh wonderful human Dr. Coach Athletic Trainer and advised him. Well ok so I sent him a text asking about the physical form but you understand. Then I called Boths office. Since we had just been in like the day before, the wonderful appointment maker who knows us by now well laughed and said ok see you all Friday. Ok that was easy.
So I called Honeyboo, and it is most likely good he was in a drugged state in the hospital as he may have had a blood clot and heart attack.. I was sure at this point that I was not dreaming but thought I may have had a stroke or my brain was baked from the heat. No he said he is sure honeyboo. I have scheduled his appointment for Friday. Ok have a super day.
So here we are on the eve of official, unofficial practice Monday morning. We have shoes and all that good stuff. Even a supply of gatorjuice for after. Now the only issue is the schedule nazis in the office. I am thinking if I take them donuts that it will ease the blow of having to completely re do his schedule for this school year. I am thinking I will take the donuts and him and stand behind his 6'3 frame all 285 pounds of him and tell them... Maybe when they begin to throw things his chest or head will deflect them from my little noogin..... Well he is not alone dealing with the schedule Nazis, but still it is better to be safe then get brained with a stapler right????
Now the human in me knowing that college is expensive, says oh you better do it, but the loving momma in me who has helped him every step though this is terrified as much as he is. But the tough love momma knows he has to do this not only to help his quality of life and be able to walk normally but to get past the fear of the pain. ( see I am not afraid to admit I have multiple personalities) It frankly sucks. Just like it did when he was a baby knowing those nasty steroid shots to help him breathe were for his own good even though it hurt and the needle well I would rather have had them stick him with a harpoon I tell ya.. Momma will be find and I know he will too.. Just somebody bring me the tissues for the first game cause I may need them.... Well ok we all know I have the loudest mouth out there but you get my point. And oh gimme a blankie cause it might get cold by then....... And for the record, his negoations came out just fine. He got his terms and conditions heard and sort of met. And I have Blondie to thank deeply for this and Curly as soon as he takes him down..... Really, Blondie and he had a brother to brother conversation which I was told that was all I needed to know. Well alrighty then. ( Do not tell them but momma has planted listening devices in their rooms and phones) HAAA HAAAA.
Now, Head Coach little big daddy just needs to buy stock in chocolate chip cookies from Albertsons... Yep this might be a long season if he does not.....
Nighty Nite Nite, smooches......
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